Nothing in my life seems to fit right.
- I grew up underrated by my parents.
- I went to a reputable university in the country, yet the applications I sent to get myself a good job were barely ever responded.
- I ended up teaching in English centers that made me one big fish in a small pond, making myself small money.
- After a series of broken hearts, worth 10 years of my adult life, I got married to a blue collar worker who asks dumb questions, such as ‘Is Martin a person’s name?’
- I settled for Mr. Good Enough in the expectation of raising a family but found that getting pregnant is not an easy task for me.
- At the age of 40 I have to start all over again, as a housewife.
I spent all my life wanting one thing but never failed to end up with something else. At the end of the day, always ponder, “How in the world did I get into this?”
- In their elder years, I became the one my parents trusted and relied on.
- Failing to get myself a good job, I found my call, teaching.
- Somewhere between the two English centers who hired me I picked up too-good-to-be-true English skills that make people think I studied overseas.
- I’m married to a man who adores me like I’m some kind of a Third World version of Aphrodite.
- I’m a huge influence to my nieces and nephews.
- The recent development of my life is where blogging came in.
After 11 superb years of teaching English, I decided to quit and stay home. Why? I want to build something from home. Something I can keep on doing til I’m 70. Something I can involve my husband in. Something that can make some good out of my nothing-seems-to-fit-right life. With divine intervention, it might just be my legacy.
You see, having to live from one struggle to another, I have never had to struggle for self-respect or others’. Under the circumstances, it is quite something. I mean I’m not a beauty queen. I’m not married to an alpha male. I don’t have a shining career. I’m not an academic par excellence. I’m not a super mom. I’m just an average woman who stands tall and proud with or without much money.
I write a blog to reach out. You are not going to believe just how many women out there who feel that they are worthless until they are beautiful, marry a man who is somebody, raise super-achiever children or make a success story on their own. These are the lives I want to touch with written words:
‘Do small, domestic, everyday things to get that respectable woman out of you.’
Surabaya, June 2015